America Café       Poem By Annabeth Schenck -- Copyright 2003 

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to the America Café.

Rally ‘round the flag and come on down. We’re the good guys.

Now serving World Domination with an attitude as big as our land mass. 

Our purchasing department wants your oil, your water, your measly little GNP’s, your disenchanted workers for our cheap labor department, your diamonds, your coffee, your chocolate, your cocaine, and really any natural resources you can’t spare.

We’re hungry, hungry, hungry with the biggest consuming force in the world and we’ve gotta keep ‘em comin’ back for more more more.

Sorry we won’t be accepting any Anger at this time. We have plenty in stock, thanks. 

Now serving False Pretenses in a variety of flavors: legal, industrial, corporate, media, civil liberties.

It looks like a democracy, but don’t be fooled. 

Special today, we’re offering a War on Evil. It’s dangerously vague and can cover a variety of tastes. Best suited to target any racial, ethnic or religious group you may consider pesky. Also good for ousting those nasty little outspoken dissidents. This one’s messy and you may have to mop up with future generations, but it does provide immediate satisfaction. 

Or if your tastes are more specific, we have a new main menu selection, the Iraqi War. It’s illegal, immoral, and unconstitutional, but at least it isn’t fattening. This one’s served with a heaping helping of our Up Yours Foreign Policy, and a garnish of State-run News Coverage. Comes with a complementary slice of Humble Pie (complementary of course, because, well-- that stuff’s hard to sell)  

And let me just run through some of our more everyday Main Menu Selections: 

We’re always happy to offer Global Environmental Devastation. This one’s big, big, big and oh so disposable and convenient. Comes wrapped up in plastic and covers everything from oceans to land to air to drinking water. 

And all you white supremacists out there will get a kick out of one of our ongoing specials: Genocide, Racism, and Oppression of the ethnic poor. We’ve got a great system—if they’re not white, we just lock ‘em up. 

Or our Good Old Boy Special. Available only to men with special characteristics. Served with Budweiser and an ammo pack. Includes Wage Slave Exploitation, a healthy dose of Misogyny, and has optional Domestic Violence. And if you find you don’t like this one, just blame it on the gays! 

And we’ve got Shopping, Shopping, Shopping!

America IS the mall.

Wal-Mart your source for cheap plastic crap

Fulfilling all those feelings of emptiness

American disowned and operated. 

We also offer a full selection of Just Desserts: 911, Oklahoma City, School Shootings and Postal Rage. This one’s a little hard to swallow and it may involve some guilt, but it’s the perfect complement to many of our other selections. 

We offer Media Idiocy, Right-wing Blindness, a Stolen Presidency, an educational system that fails completely, and enough military might to blow up the world a thousand times. And more.

So, rally ‘round the flag and come on down

We’re the good guys.

But you’ll have to catch these specials soon, cause they just won’t last forever

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the America Café.